I AM TURNING NINETEEN TOMORROW!
Which means I will be one year older already.
Can you believe i am hitting my twenties next year!!!
Sigh.


Anyway, i am very sad now.
No plans for my birthday.
I also don't know if there will be chalet later on.
:(





Went to kallang to find him ytd.
Had a talk with him... and was on the verge of giving up already.
But then things went differently in the end.
I don't know if i am right to bet desperately for what i want.
Now i am reminding myself that I hope this is what i wanted and what i have choosen.
I will try not to suffocate you anymore.

♥ 3/31/2009 05:06:00 AM

First surprise @ 12am





Chalet - 16 March







Another two cakes for him (:
The cake on the left hand side is baked by phoebe.
& The cake on the right hand side is to smash it on his face.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!


awww, birthday kiss for you... so sweet right lol.



Guys group photo


Ladies group photo



Happy birthday to you...
Happy birthday to you...
Happy birthday to nicholas...
Happy birthday to you.


Make a wish.
May your wish come true!


Blow out the candles


Cs and nick


Group photo (Guys + Girls)



Don't haolian... Landyard only.




Don't so touched leh..



*TADA*
*Your second surprise*




Up next........
Your third surprise!













DIY SCRAPPY !!! Nice eh...
Credits go to phoebe (:
She taught me how to do it!









Okay, time for CAKE SMASHING!
READY YO!


Oh my.


:D



Hello sweeties... Thanks for coming down! Haha.




Drunk face TEEHEEHEE


Are you happy?
I know you are.
Your gf put in alot of effort y'know...
Touched?
Appreciated?
You better be!!!
Cuz i just want to see the smile on your face (:
And i want all my hardwork to be exchanged for your love CHEERS~

♥ 3/29/2009 12:22:00 AM

Happy 5th month, baby.
I hope you still remember.
Nothing said.
What's wrong with you huh?








This five months didn't come easy...

♥ 3/23/2009 10:48:00 PM

Rui said love's blind.
Forgive me for going back to him.
We've given each other one last chance so i don't wish to have any regrets.
I hope things will be better gradually.



Will be back to post pictures taken on baby's 19th birthday (:

♥ 3/23/2009 02:17:00 AM

It came to my conciousness
We're not an item anymore,
Its over.

Have got so much to say to you, but everything just swallow hard in me.
I can't bring me myself and I up to you...
This time, its really hard, but at the very least im trying...

In retrospect...
That day on the phone I said: We have always got back together so this time round is there anything i can do or say to salvage this r/s.
You ended with a firm NO.

I feel my heart crush, it makes my heart skip a beat or two...
Your reply strike me.
I really hope that there's still a chance for me to salvage...

I went down to icon bar that day was not to find trouble, i hope you understand this.
I want to go down to have things said, to clear miscommunication with you.
But when your friends all come to sarcasm, I am really pissed off...

But baby, i wonder if you have actually put yourself in my position and feel whats in me?
Its not that i don't have trust in you, its just that i don't trust the girls working there,
They're initiative girls. :(
When i heard you said you wanted to go to icon bar, you know how worried and insecure i am?
I need some assurance, some concern, some love, to let me feel sercure...
Afterall, icon bar is really not a very decent place to hang out at...
I dare to say that no girls would allow their boyfriends to even step into such place...

Read me, Feel me...
We'll talk more tmr, goodnight.

♥ 3/10/2009 01:01:00 AM

This blog post is especially for you:

He's @ icon bar now.
Guess he must be enjoying himself.
I haven't eaten anything for the whole day.
Did you ask? Nope.

Had a big quarrel with him just now.
And i texted him this:
I've got no say anymore. I failed as a gf. I'm so sorry so let's put an end to this r/s.
I hope you found back your freedom.
I text my girlfriends:
I don't feel like meeting anyone today. Sorry i'm not going anywhere tonight.
I apologise if this decision is too last minute.
After which i switched off my phone.
And cried so hard.

Woke up and recieved msg from rui, weenah, marcus, phoebe.
Called marcus and weenah back.
Weenah passed the phone to yuewei and she talked to me.
Marcus said:
Don't make rash decision... Calm down and think about it.
Yuewei said:
Be understanding and don't say things you'll regret.
True enough...
Then he called.
Talked things out. After that his hp went flat.
He text me:
Batt flat call you later.
Till now haven't call yet.

He thinks we're okay.
But baby you really think so?
Its very rare i will get my sat and sun off.
I thought i would make full use of it by spending time with you.
But not anymore.
Fri and Sat you wasn't by my side..
Sun i still don't know if you will come down to my company's bbq.

Regarding the icon bar issue, i admit i was unreasonable.
I didn't paint the big picture at that point of time.
I'm very sorry about it.
And you being caught saying "oh then i don't call her back lo"
I happen to hear this so how should i feel?
You yourself said that if it was you, you would be piss off and might mention the word break up.
And phoebe's issue, i was mad why u choose to hide things from me, why you couldn't be honest with me.
We always had nothing to hide.
I know i walk off without giving you a chance to explain was my fault.
But even if i didn't walked off, we would both be giving each other a face.
I'm upset why xh choose to treat phoebe this why when phoebe has done so much for xh.
I think phoebe has every right to know because it concerns her.
Why make phoebe believe that this love exist right from the start but do you know that now when she know the truth, it hurts her even more.
Now that i know you are actually protecting me like what you have said over the phone,
Fine i accept it.

But you know what..
You are always not there for me when i needed you most.
I said this not because i want to blame you.
I said it because I am really very upset about it.
I have been very troubled this few days...
That is partly why i flare up easily.
I am sick and tired of my family matters already.
Yet i have to still quarrel with you.
Then i became even more sensitive and you still do things which will upset me even more!
You know i hated you raising your voice at me. Yet you still did that!
And that's when i couldn't take it anymore and i finally break down.
That explain the last message i send to you.

I wish you would be more understanding when i am so down..
I wish you would pamper me like a little girl..
I'm not saying you aren't a good bf, you can be a good bf, its whether you want to be or not.
I set high expectation on you not because i want to suffocate you, its because i don't want to end up like my family.
That very first time you told me i am very precious to you...
You really make me believe in what you say but now i am doubting your words again.
My mum told me to find a guy who loves me more than i love him.
I hope one day you will be! (:

♥ 3/01/2009 01:48:00 AM

Vday pictures!

♥ 3/01/2009 01:10:00 AM